Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
