We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
