is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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