About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
pop tarts are not kleenex
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
