You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
