the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I checked into jail on foursquare
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You've changed since you got that strap on
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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