Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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