Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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