he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
