oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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