$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
