why didn't you poke me back
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
