i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
