"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
