before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
my poor anus
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
