wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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