Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
