I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just found puke in my bra..
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
