I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
