have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
