I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
