Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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