Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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