I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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