wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
