what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
nutella sex= disaster
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
