I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Help. Why am I so naked?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
