He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
