On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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