If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
