Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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