rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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