My underwear smells like fireworks.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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