That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
