Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
