And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
