Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
