She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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