All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Randomize
