Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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