I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
