He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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