I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
