I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
