He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You're so nebulous sometimes
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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