This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
