i love accidental penises.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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