I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i dont even know how to be here
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
