I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
