She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
My ATM looks so different sober.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
