3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
