i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
