So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
